If you’ve ever dabbled in farming, you’ll agree that goats are not your average livestock. They’re escape artists, mischief-makers, and part-time comedians rolled into one. But nothing quite prepares you for the moment when you realize your goats are smarter than you.

This hilarious story was shared by a farmer friend who found himself in an ongoing battle of wits with his goats. He wanted to warn us all: no matter how prepared you think you are; goats will humble you. But his story takes a bittersweet turn—it turns out outsmarting barriers isn’t always foolproof, and he lost one or two goats in their daring escapades.

It All Started with a Fence

When my friend decided to raise goats, he thought, How hard can it be? Build a sturdy fence, throw in some grass, and voila! You’re a goat farmer. Unfortunately, he quickly learned that with goats, nothing is ever that simple.

He built a fence pen so solid that even the village carpenter applauded his effort. “This one na prison for goats,” the carpenter declared confidently. But a few days later, my friend woke up to find all his goats happily munching on a neighbor’s cassava nearby.

“How did they escape?” he wondered. Did they climb? Did they teleport? The goats simply stared at him, chewing contentedly, as if to say, Nice try, oga. Better luck next time.

The Price of Escape

One night, determined to solve the mystery, my friend hid behind a tree to spy on his mischievous flock. What he saw blew his mind. The goats, led by their fearless leader (whom he nicknamed Captain ), worked as a team.

The goats had discovered a loose plank in the fence. Captain led the charge, nudging the plank aside while the others squeezed through the gap. But the plan didn’t go smoothly for everyone. One particularly chubby goat got stuck midway, and in its frantic effort to escape, it injured itself breaking its neck and eventually died a few days later.

Another time, during an escape attempt, one of the younger goats tried to jump over the fence but misjudged the height. It fell awkwardly and didn’t survive. My friend was heartbroken but also baffled by the goats’ relentless determination.

“It’s like they’re playing Squid Game,” he joked. “But the prize is my yam barn!”

The Yam Heist

Despite his losses, the goats showed no signs of slowing down. During yam harvest season, they pulled off their most daring heist yet. While my friend was busy stacking harvested yams in his storage shed, the goats somehow opened the door (don’t ask how—they’re goats, not locksmiths!) and staged a full-blown raid.

By the time he returned, the goats were happily munching on the yams, and Captain led the others to perch on top a pile of yam tubers, looking victorious.

Lessons Learned from the Goat Wars

After months of frustration, my friend decided to stop fighting the goats and start learning from them. Here are his hard-earned lessons:

1. Goats are geniuses. Never underestimate their ability to find weak spots in your system.
2. Fencing is a myth. No matter how sturdy it seems, goats will find a way out.
3. Goats are daredevils. Their escape attempts often come with risks, and sadly, not all of them make it.

A Truce in the Making

These days, my friend has adopted a more laid-back approach. Instead of trying to outsmart his goats, he works with their natural instincts. He created a grazing schedule, lets them roam in controlled areas, and rewards them with treats for good behavior.

It’s not perfect—Captain still sneaks off occasionally—but it’s a compromise they can both live with.

Conclusion: The Farmer Who Got Schooled

For my farmer friend, raising goats has been equal parts comedy and tragedy. While their antics have cost him cassava, yams, and a few of their own comrades, he has also gained something valuable: resilience and the ability to laugh at himself.

So, if you’re thinking of raising goats, remember this—they’re not just livestock. They’re escape artists, comedians, and, above all, relentless survivors.

To Captain and his goat crew, if you’re reading this: rest in peace to your fallen teammates. Your legacy of mischief lives on!